


years were too short

by opheliasnettles



Category: Othello - Shakespeare
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Content warnings:, F/F, Homophobia, Unhappy Ending, it’s in all lowercase that’s all you need to know, this was a mistake but so am i
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:48:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23906446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opheliasnettles/pseuds/opheliasnettles
Summary: Emilia and Desdemona’s love, through the years.
Relationships: Desdemona/Emilia
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	years were too short

**Author's Note:**

> i regret this

when they are girls, they are always together. inseparable. running through the woods with stick-swords and bared teeth, covered in dirt and grime and mud and ruining their skirts. 

emilia is always the loud one, always the boisterous one, the one to suggest they steal the keys to the cellar, to trick the handmaids. 

desdemona is quiet. happy and sweet and perfect and desirable. 

of course she is perfect. the boys do stare at her, half in awe of her beauty, half in awe of her money. year by year the suitors amass. 

when emilia is thirteen and desdemona newly fourteen, wearing it proudly, they eat pears from the pantry they aren’t allowed in, and emilia kisses desdemona. emilia loves it, desdemona is punch-drunk on it. it is better than sunlight. 

they must be quiet, hush hush, but who thinks twice of the way desdemona stares at emilia? who thinks twice of the notes they pass? they are just girls, of course. girls snickering in the linen closet, kissing each other. 

when emilia is halfway through sixteen, her father hits her hard enough to loosen a pearly-white tooth. she’s unnatural, a terrible display of god’s faults. she writes verses, her father knocking the back of her head when her fingers shake too badly to form the phrases. out falls something of her, and emilia loses it under the couch.

when she curls up in desdemona’s arms three days from then, forbidden from seeing her, the love is too much. desdemona cracks open the window, crawls up with what food she could scrounge without disrupting. 

_ they are hurting you, emilia,  _ desdemona says, watching emilia nibble on a hunk of cheese. it is almost too rich - she has eaten nothing but a single scrap of bread yesterday, and her pitcher of water has been empty since. desdemona pours water in her mouth, emilia’s fingers too bruised and swollen to support the flask she brought. 

_ they will stop when i say i have stopped loving you, but i cannot lie. they have me swear on the cross.  _

_ god will not mind, this once _ , desdemona whispers, holding the cool flask to emilia’s forehead. 

emilia lies through her teeth the next day, swears she does not love desdemona. she swears it across her mother, across her father. she wonders if she should have let them beat the love out of her instead. 

they grow up fast after that. emilia is quiet now, and she runs her tongue over the gap where her canine should be. desdemona is more gentle with her than ever. they dream of a life together, but desdemona is already being forced to choose a husband. 

emilia’s mother falls to disease, her father to war, and she knows in her tar-filled heart it was her lie that killed them.

her brother owns the family home, and it is small enough that she stays by herself (rarely  _ alone _ , desdemona is often hanging about, drinking tea, calling for emilia to return to bed). it is on brabantio’s land, by the gardens, and it is such a simple explanation that dear desdemona simply awoke early and wandered through the asters. 

_ i have found a love,  _ desdemona says, as they eat rich, heavy pudding desdemona stole from the pantry.  _ it is othello _ . 

there is a last time for everything, after that. it is slow and quiet and desdemona still loves her but she loves her differently now. 

the last kiss emilia gives her, she makes sure it lasts. it feels thick in their mouths like honey, and emilia savours it. 

she cries when desdemona leaves her that day. her tears burn down her face. it was too short. it was years but it was too short.  _ if the desdemona of old were here,  _ she thinks,  _ she would kiss my cheeks until they were dry _ . she uses her sleeve instead. 

desdemona loves othello, emilia loves not-desdemona. emilia picks a terrible man, but at least he will marry her. he is terrible to her, but at least he will marry her. one day he hits her hard enough to loosen the pearly-white canine on the other side of her mouth, but at least he will marry her. emilia loves iago. 

she has made it through worse. 

  
  
  



End file.
